[Since we’ve just received our first Christmas card for this year, perhaps I’ll put this up for the entertainment of my many readers. Ho ho ho…]
For years this was just a single verse stranded in the first draft of a novel I’ll probably never finish now, and then a few years ago it demanded to be finished. Apologies to both Howard Blake and Raymond Briggs, who might not approve.
Its first public appearance was after the funeral of my friend Graham Bell. That might seem less strange if I tell you that the service finished with the Ying Tong Song. Graham was always urging me to play more jazz, but I think he would have approved of this even without the vaguely jazzy snatch of White Christmas that precedes it. I don’t know how Irving Berlin would have felt about it, but at least I haven’t had any ghostly visitors on the nights leading up to Christmas. So far. Bah Humbug! It certainly proves conclusively that I was not born to compete with Wes Montgomery or Barney Kessel, but it’s nice to give the Strat an airing occasionally.
Recorded on primitive handheld equipment: perhaps one day I’ll take a more careful run at it (with the verses in the right order!) in my recently updated home studio and do a little OTT overdubbing. I’m thinking celeste, harpsichord and orchestra. (I have a Yamaha keyboard and I’m not afraid to use it.)
*Not that this is ever going to be translated to a commercial recording. 🙂
I’m snoring in my chair
I’ve really had too much to eat
And even if I tried
I couldn’t leave my seat.
I’m getting very tight:
I didn’t need those lasht two beersh
And now that last mince pie
Has dribbled down my brand new tie.
Somebody offered me another cup of tea
Turkey sandwich, more plum pudding, woe is me…
I’m sprawling on the stairs
I haven’t got the strength to rise
And dear old Auntie Jill
Is in the bathroom still.
I’ve turned off the TV
The Queen’s speech was keeping one awake
And one more Singing Nun
Is more than I can take
Uncle Dick is feeling sick, he’s running for the loo
Heaving like a mighty monster from the zoo
I’m surfing in my lair
Googling for some online deals
To spend next Christmas Day
On a cruise ship far away…